I had something to tell you on 2004-05-18 @ 4:45 p.m.
10 things i hate about work
here's a list of what i am thinking about right now:
1. this lady just called and i could barely hear her from the screaming child in the background. she asked who she would talk to if she needed to make an appointment to have an ultrasound. i told her to hold and i would transfer her. as if she didn't hear me (no doubt because of the banshee standing next to her) she proceeds to say, "can i come in and have this done now?" i gave her the treatment (will explain shortly) and i said, "please....hold...i am the op-er-a-tor and cannot help you with this. i'm going to TRANSFER you now" nothing from her end. the treatment is usually quite effective and easy to master. you see, when someone asks you to do something that you've JUST told them you can't do (or when any equally annoying interaction takes place) wait for them to finish speaking. sigh just loud enough where they question whether or not you just had to audacity to be so rude or if you are asthmatic. then be very very quiet. not for like five minutes or anything just looonnngg enough that they start to get uncomfortable. then just before they repeat themselves, finish saying what you need to say always keeping an edge to your voice. that concludes our explaination of "the treatment".
2. there is a certain gentleman that works here but in the environmental services dept (he cleans up after everyone). he's gotta be like 67 and he's really trashy looking and he has a cup of coffee everytime i see him. he slurps this coffee. i am easily annoyed by his mere presence. however, it is not only the slurping of the coffee that makes my skin crawl but he whistles. he is NOT a skilled whistler. in fact, he may be the worst whistler i've ever ever heard. perhaps i should elaborate on the whistle. he doesnt use his lips he just blows air thru his teeth. it has no direction. ugh.
3. There are certain people that i page more than other people. i have the numbers of these people's spouses and children memorized to the point when it flashes on the screen, i rarely bother with the formal introduction. i pick the line up, put it on hold and page the person i know they are looking for. i wonder if they appreciate this speedy service or if it comes off as rude. interesting
4. in an ongoing study, i have realized that i am a very very nice operator until about 3.5 hours into my shift. this is usually when i have had enough. i go out for a break (woo-hooz!! ten whoollleee minutes! what shall i DO with myself for all that time?)just so that you know, we are now 2.5 hours into the shift.
5. I especially hate it when people come down here, from their hospital beds, struggling with i.v.'s or wheelchairs or what the hell ever, just to turn on the t.v.'s in the lobby where i sit very quietly. they then turn these tv's up so loud that there is a vibration within the tv and i am further annoyed. i pray for them to go piss or smoke or whatever so that i can run over there and turn the tv off then assume my position as if i never moved and have no idea how the tv got that way. i once played this game with a certain female patient for a good two days. it got nasty.
6. right now, there are two doctors standing behind me but in front of the public elevators discussing a patient's personal business, condition, and care. hellooooo HIPAA violation. interestingly enough, one of these physicians always wears cowboy boots under his scrubs. Perhaps the best part about this is that the patient they were discussing, is a fellow doctor. hehehe!!
7. i am the person who pages everyone in the place. usually i get annoyed when i know i am paging someone for their friend and that its not about anything important. however, there is one certain employee here that calls me very often. not to page her friends, tho. see, with her, it is how she asks me to page someone not who. she will call (i cringe when i see her extension come up) and say, "You can page manny hoofslinger (whatever the name is)?" she always adds a teeny bit of inflection at the end as if to give the illusion that she is asking a question. no ma'am. that is not a question. i will play with her too, our game is that i will ask her to repeat herself several times until she is equally annoyed. then i will say, "OHHHHHHH!!! CAN i page manny hoofslinger? well sure as shit i'd love to!" and she slams the phone. three points for me.
8. because i am the only one at the front desk i am not allowed the same degree of non-desk time that other people in the vast work force are. i have to ask to leave my desk. imagine for a moment how demeaning it is to have to ask someone to go piss. i'm almost 21 fuckin years old. perhaps they should get me little yellow hall passes too and i'll raise my hand before i ask a question.
9. i hate when people bring food in from a restaurant and i'm really really hungry and cannot leave my desk. dear god, please send chik-fil-a. this is honestly, the fifth person who has come in with one of the coveted red and white bags. mmmmmm...
10. i hate when people try to be my friend. it is a work-place relationship. you and i are not friends whether we work together or your great aunt beluga is in i.c.u. i stay out of your life, you stay out of mine. do not listen to my phone calls or question me about what is going on in the er. i do not mean to be rude but i cannot get personally involved with each of you. my emotional state doesn't have room for a fleeting friendship such as you and i would have.
9.
Look Back][ Go Forth
Before I said that, I said this...
jumping off the proverbial bridge - 2005-03-12
"Karma or Fate's little Joke?" - 2005-01-11
Super-Sucks - 2005-01-03
"The Bike" - 2004-12-20
"Missed you" - 2004-12-08
